Drowning

I looked at myself in the vanity this morning and I didn't like what I saw.

I looked at myself in the sink basin's water that Mama had used to wash her face and shave her legs.

The girl looking back at me looked absolved.

Maybe that's why the priest went into the water. For absolvement. For sanctuary. For church.

I think mama stays away for the same reason. Church has never agreed with her.

When I was too young to remember, our church's first preacher walked into the lake late on a Saturday.

He's still down there.

Townies say he was looney and heartbroken. My mama said he heard God, like Moses did with the burning bush.

I felt bad for her, bad enough that I went looking for something I couldn't hear.

It's been a long time since I swam. I didn't remember it being this hard.

I lied when I told her that I heard him too.

I wanted to. If I did, then I'd be good too.